My name is Johnathon Churchill. I am 22 years of age, 6ft 3ins tall with blond hair and blue eyes. I am a keen Rugby player.

The Bitch is Lady Stephanie de Vere (Stiffy).

Tall, with short black hair, striking green eyes and a stunning, voluptuous figure, Stiffy is volatile, pugnacious, infuriating, has a short temper and does nothing but complain.

The only survivors of a fatal plane crash in a Central African Tropical Rain Forest, we were captured by Ivory Poachers, attacked by lions, fought in a 3,000 strong native battle, and narrowly escaped crocodiles in the Zambezi.

After many weeks of fighting through Africa we reached the Victoria Falls. We then flew from Victoria Falls to Cape Town, were struck by lightning over the Drakensberg and crash landed in Cape Town.