Humor
- Wearing underwear just out of the dryer
- Fixing electronics by smacking them
- Getting called up to the dinner buffet first at a wedding
- Watching The Price Is Right when you're home sick
- Hitting a bunch of green lights in a row
- Waking up and realizing it's Saturday The Book of Awesome reminds us that the best things in life are free (yes, your grandma was right). With laugh-out-loud observations from award-winning comedy writer Neil Pasricha, The Book of Awesome is filled with smile-inducing moments on every page that make you feel like a kid looking at the world for the first time. Read it and you'll remember all the things there are to feel good about. A New York Times Bestseller - USA Today Bestseller - Globe and Mail Bestseller - Toronto Star Bestseller - Vancouver Sun Bestseller - Macleans Bestseller - Winner of the Forest of Reading Award
The perfect gift for dads and pun-lovers alike! Celebrate Father's day with this laugh-out-loud collection!
With over 600 knee-slappers, head-shakers, and groan-makers, Dad Jokes is packed with enough witty quips and cheesy-but-grate jokes for even the most embarrassing of dads. Perfect for the father experts, new dads, and all the fathers-to-be, this is the gift from any daughter, son, wife, or partner that celebrates how great (terrible) their jokes truly are! But remember--you don't have to be a dad to tell dad jokes!
"Dad, can you put my shoes on?"
"No, I don't think they'll fit me."
Ah, the dad joke--humor that reminds us of all the lovable, embarrassing dads out there. Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy dad jokes around, including clever quips, overly literal dialogue, and punny one-liners.
These jokes may be on porpoise, but they whale definitely make you laugh:
I used to hate facial hair, but then it started growing on me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
A: The road.
A very funny view of the great, and nearly great, people throughout history by New Yorker humorist Will Cuppy.
Hysterically funny (yet historically accurate), Cuppy transforms luminaries such as Nero, Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, Lucrezia Borgia, Attila the Hun, Lady Godiva and Miles Standish into human beings. These are not the usual portraits but as we would have known them Cuppy-wise: foolish, fallible, and very much our common ancestors. After leaving Chicago for New York City, for eight years, from 1921 to 1929, Will Cuppy lived as a hermit on Jones Island, off Long Island's South Shore. From there, he gained a reputation for his factual but funny magazine articles and wrote the book, How to be a Hermit, his first bestseller. The Decline and Fall of Practically Everybody was left unfinished after Cuppy's death in 1949. The manuscript was completed by a friend from some 15,000 note cards in Cuppy's apartment. The book spent four months on the New York Times bestseller list and has endured as a classic of American humor.
"Adam Mansbach, whose breakout book Go the F**k to Sleep was recorded by Samuel L. Jackson to viral acclaim, has completely shaken up the children's lit space with his profane, candid, and deeply hilarious odes to the trials of parenthood."
--Entertainment Weekly
"Larry David is lending his voice to the audiobook version of a popular children's tale. The comedian will narrate F**k, Now There Are Two of You, the third installment in the Go the F**k to Sleep bedtime story series by Adam Mansbach. The sarcastic potty-mouthed book is more for parents than children."
--Access
"Big [expletive] news! Adam Mansbach, the author of the 2011 New York Times bestseller Go the F**k to Sleep is back with another brutally honest book for parents. It's called F**k, Now There Are Two of You, and you need it in your home library (just not on the shelves the kids can reach)."
--TODAY Parents
"Now the author of Go the F**k to Sleep, Adam Mansbach, is coming back with another delightfully apt and crude children's book. It's a book for parents who've welcomed their second child and need to explain the new baby to their first offspring, it's going to be titled F**k, Now There Are Two of You--and it's going to be narrated by LARRY DAVID. I don't know how many of you out there have ever thought, 'I really wish Larry David was here to read my child a bedtime story, ' but I'm sure you're all thinking it now, and amazingly, this is a wild, wild dream that's going to come true."
--Funny or Die
"Adam Mansbach's book F**k, Now There are Two of You, the second sequel to the best-selling Go the F**k to Sleep, addresses what it's like to add a second kid to the mix--and nothing is sugarcoated. That's why the prickly 72-year-old comedian [Larry David] is the perfect narrator."
--TODAY Parents, from a feature on Larry David's audio narration
"Adam Mansbach, the author of Go the F**k to Sleep, is back with another brutally honest book for tired parents: F**k, Now There Are Two of You. As the sequel's title implies, it's all about the roller coaster that is welcoming a second child into the family."
--PopSugar
"Mansbach hit exactly the right nerve for exhausted parents who were ready to throw their hands up in the air."
--Did You Know?
"F**k, Now There are Two of You, seems brilliantly aimed at skewering the frustrating family dynamic of suddenly having two children to deal with instead of just one. Being an American family of four can be tough as shit, and but thankfully, the 'f**k' book series is here to help."
--Fatherly
Adam Mansbach famously gave voice to two of parenting's primal struggles in Go the Fuck to Sleep and You Have to Fucking Eat--the often-imitated, never-duplicated pair of New York Times best sellers that ushered in a new era of radical honesty in humor books for parents. But what could possibly be left?
Parents--new, old, expectant, and grand--of multiple children already knew the answer. Adam discovered it for himself by having two more kids, less than two years apart.
Fuck, Now There Are Two of You is a loving monologue about the new addition to the family, addressed to a big sibling and shot through with Adam's trademark profane truth-telling. Gorgeously illustrated and chock-full of unspoken sentiments channeled directly from the brains of parents worldwide, Fuck, Now There Are Two of You articulates all the fears and frustrations attendant to the simple, math-defying fact that two is a million more kids than one.
As you probably know by now, you shouldn't read it to a child.
Relax, unwind and soak up the wisdom of the sloth with the slowest page turner you'll ever read.
From tidying and Hygge, to living Lagom, the endless pressure to be happier, live better, sleep soundly, and eat mindfully can be exhausting. But this year's lifestyle trend finally delivers the perfect antidote - welcome to the year of the sloth.
Sloths are mindfulness in action. Contemplative, deliberate, relaxed, and focused. They resist the rat race, the incessant pressures from society to be more productive, and they don't care how many steps they've logged on their fitness tracker. Long-limbed, a little bit shaggy, and a lot wide-eyed, they're wonderful creatures, not to mention completely adorable.
Here you can enjoy take-it-slow wisdom inspired by sloths; including advice on sleep (more restorative than a 6am run), eating and 'exercise' (sloths are the original pioneers of slow food and yoga after all), work (did you know that lazy people have higher IQs?), family life, and love.
Dispelling over-complicated myths about productivity, this brilliant book confirms that it really is OK to be a sloth.
I do not believe
That your fixation with my
Playing Dead is fine Standing
I sometimes feel bad
That I don't get as happy
Whenever you sit The Outside Bell
It is very rude
That you don't call out in joy
When people arrive
At long last, a much-needed guidebook for well-intentioned people of pallor on what not to say to their African American "friends."
"This book is the perfect jumping-off point for much-needed conversations about how to be an anti-racist. It's extremely short and very accessible. I wish I could give this book to everyone."
--Avid Bookshop, Staff Pick
"The store's favorite humor book of possibly the decade."
--The Book Table (Oak Park, IL), Featured New Release
"By turns funny, sarcastic, and possibly true for many Black (and non-Black) Americans...While there is humor throughout, there is also a strong sense of anger, annoyance, and weariness when it comes to the Black experience in Trump's America. And though Smyer is addressing white people specifically, his humor can be appreciated by anyone who needs a good chuckle (and an education)."
--Library Journal
"A balm for tongues bitten and comments swallowed...A bitingly humorous compendium of the absurd subtle racism of the American workplace."
--Kirkus Reviews
"In this slim and witty volume, attorney Smyer collects an alphabetized short list of things not to say to African-Americans...Each entry is designed to strip away the hypocrisy and half-truths of these cultural exchanges by laughing at them. Smyer's hilarious sampler offers astute observations on race and culture."
--Publishers Weekly
Greetings, well-intentioned person of pallor.
Your good intentions used to be enough. But in these diverse and divisive times, some people would hold you accountable for your actions. You were not raised for such unfairness. You need help. And help you now have.
Let Daquan--that black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends--help you navigate perilous small talk with African Americans with this handy field guide. This portable bit of emotional labor puts at your fingertips a tabbed and alphabetized list of things not to say to black people. Finally!
How to use: Keep this handbook close. Whenever you are confronted with an African American and you feel compelled to blurt out an observation about her hair or to liken your Tesla lease to slavery, ask for a moment to consult this reference. She'll wait. If the keen insight you want to share is listed herein, You Can Keep That to Yourself. It truly is that easy!